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[meta] » reject the 'no homo' [osr]
So! I promised that I'd be posting some of the choicest bits from the OSR artbook, since there's some very interesting info in there, among all the gorgeous images. And here's the first thing, taken from Rick's character profile page:
First reaction: Oh for fuck's sake, here they go, No-Homo'ing yet another one of my favorite M/M ships!
On further reflection: No, no wait, this is delicious and so wonderfully messed-up! I can actually work with this!
Because here's the thing. I can actually see Don developing a kind of paternal affection (however stunted) toward Rick, everything in him screaming to fill that jagged, still-bleeding hole he made with his own hands, when he left Eva in Stern. It would be an almost unconscious process, because Don repressed himself so badly, both in terms of his own emotions and his effective memories of the past, that, for the most part, he wouldn't even be aware of that gaping hole (or, rather, wouldn't let himself be aware, because that particular wound would entirely undo him, if he permitted it).
Rick, with his youth and his exuberance and energy and prodigious talent for racing, wouldn't have just reminded him of Maya (a notion he'd have crushed every time it showed signs of rearing its head) but would have inspired feelings of protectiveness and father-like affection, what little he could allow himself to feel or actually show. Which goes a long way toward explaining why Don remained by Rick's side and chose to mentor him in his fledgling racing career (rather than push him away on the basis of that resemblance to Maya) while rebuilding his own life in the process, brick by careful brick.
So how does the above square with how damn shippy they read in canon? (It's not just a case of me having shipper-goggles welded to my skull, almost everyone I've watched this series with ended up shipping them as well and there was that point when a whole chatroom burst out with "oh my God, they sound like exes!") Well, for one, something starting out as paternal isn't a guarantee that it will always remain so. Or, in a less cowardly interpretation and one I prefer, Don's massive, family-related trauma and his just as massive repression ended up causing several wires to get crossed in funny ways and his feelings starting out as paternal was precisely the reason why they then turned into desire. There was that hole, screaming to be filled, there was that constant ache and yearning for closeness, for intimacy, for an end to the crushing loneliness, even if Don could never admit to all of these, even to himself (at least not until the events of Oban, where it took, tellingly, a confrontation with Rick for him to admit that his life isn't "fine as it is, thank you").
And wanting Rick, realizing this and being unable to outright deny it? It would have made Don repress himself even harder, hate himself with renewed ferocity -- what sort of depraved creature looks at his young mentee like this, he would have asked himself. He wouldn't have known how to deal with the thing. It would have taken a significant toll on their relationship, on top of the friction already caused by Don's obsession with control and Rick's growing realization that his friend and manager is leading an empty life and turning himself into a metaphorical husk in the process. The whole thing would have eventually reached a breaking-point, which is where Rick was fired (I can see Don threatening to fire Rick, in order to get him in line, but not actually wanting to go through with it. Only for Rick to very bluntly call his bluff and Don feeling left as if he has no choice but to go through with it and then bitterly regretting it, once Rick is gone).
All of this makes their interactions on Oban all the more fascinating. Because even with all the self-loathing potentially caused by his feelings, Don is quite keen to work with Rick once more, after not seeing him for three years. And no wonder, given that Rick was the only person whose presence even remotely filled that howling void that he can only acknowledge in the dark, dead of night, where no other soul could possible see him. He clearly regretted firing Rick and the way they parted (the "I'm counting on you" part is as close as one gets to a formal, five-page apology, with early series!Don) and wanted to try and make amends, even if he knew as well as anyone that he was terrible at it.
And Rick? I often joke that he's either pansexual or 'Wei-sexual', but the truth is that he's naturally drawn to both of the Weis and we see this clearly in the first half of Oban. I don't believe any amount of "the Earth needs you!" talk would have worked to convince him, if he was utterly unwilling to ever work with Don again, under any circumstances. Their relationship is fraught and tense at first, due to Rick's anger and hurt at how he was treated, but it slowly grows warmer and fonder, with Rick getting Don to open up to him on two separate occasions, in a way Don would never do with anyone else, with the sole exception of Eva, his own daughter. While Rick likely never saw Don as a father-figure per se, he did lean on the older man's experience and support and, in OSR proper, openly admits that he got to where he did in racing because Don was his mentor and taught him what he needed to know.
(I will reserve an in-depth discussion of this for the 'Ship Manifesto' post I'm writing for the two of them, but that line, in episode 10, after Don has just told Rick about the abandonment of his family? Not only does Rick not lash out at him -- a reaction Don was seemingly trying to cause, by phrasing things in such a way that he made it seem as if he'd abandoned both his wife and child -- but he expresses sorrow and disappointment, at the fact that Don kept something so important from him, for so many years. There are so many layers in his voice there and so much subtext that it's almost impossible to not read it in a 'Rick has Feelings' way. He sounds even more hurt in the French version, almost as if Savin's direction for the actor at that part were "good, not make it even gayer.")
Where do things go from there, post-Oban? For one, Don's lingering guilt over his father-like feelings for Rick turning into something else entirely on account everything from PTSD to being enormously affection-starved, wouldn't just go away. And if Rick is to be a semi-permanent fixture in the Wei household (I do not accept any other post-canon interpretations at this time) then he'll have to find some way of dealing with that guilt in a halfway constructive way, before it eats him alive. Particularly if they both carefully, tentatively, move toward a relationship. It's one of the reasons why Don turned to outright masochism to cope with his recurring issues with guilt and self-loathing in the post-canon fic I'm writing and why, in his relationship with Rick there, it translated into carefully negotiated kink).
(Here's a galaxy-brain take: father/son kinky roleplay, with the father in the submissive position. /shot).
First reaction: Oh for fuck's sake, here they go, No-Homo'ing yet another one of my favorite M/M ships!
On further reflection: No, no wait, this is delicious and so wonderfully messed-up! I can actually work with this!
Because here's the thing. I can actually see Don developing a kind of paternal affection (however stunted) toward Rick, everything in him screaming to fill that jagged, still-bleeding hole he made with his own hands, when he left Eva in Stern. It would be an almost unconscious process, because Don repressed himself so badly, both in terms of his own emotions and his effective memories of the past, that, for the most part, he wouldn't even be aware of that gaping hole (or, rather, wouldn't let himself be aware, because that particular wound would entirely undo him, if he permitted it).
Rick, with his youth and his exuberance and energy and prodigious talent for racing, wouldn't have just reminded him of Maya (a notion he'd have crushed every time it showed signs of rearing its head) but would have inspired feelings of protectiveness and father-like affection, what little he could allow himself to feel or actually show. Which goes a long way toward explaining why Don remained by Rick's side and chose to mentor him in his fledgling racing career (rather than push him away on the basis of that resemblance to Maya) while rebuilding his own life in the process, brick by careful brick.
So how does the above square with how damn shippy they read in canon? (It's not just a case of me having shipper-goggles welded to my skull, almost everyone I've watched this series with ended up shipping them as well and there was that point when a whole chatroom burst out with "oh my God, they sound like exes!") Well, for one, something starting out as paternal isn't a guarantee that it will always remain so. Or, in a less cowardly interpretation and one I prefer, Don's massive, family-related trauma and his just as massive repression ended up causing several wires to get crossed in funny ways and his feelings starting out as paternal was precisely the reason why they then turned into desire. There was that hole, screaming to be filled, there was that constant ache and yearning for closeness, for intimacy, for an end to the crushing loneliness, even if Don could never admit to all of these, even to himself (at least not until the events of Oban, where it took, tellingly, a confrontation with Rick for him to admit that his life isn't "fine as it is, thank you").
And wanting Rick, realizing this and being unable to outright deny it? It would have made Don repress himself even harder, hate himself with renewed ferocity -- what sort of depraved creature looks at his young mentee like this, he would have asked himself. He wouldn't have known how to deal with the thing. It would have taken a significant toll on their relationship, on top of the friction already caused by Don's obsession with control and Rick's growing realization that his friend and manager is leading an empty life and turning himself into a metaphorical husk in the process. The whole thing would have eventually reached a breaking-point, which is where Rick was fired (I can see Don threatening to fire Rick, in order to get him in line, but not actually wanting to go through with it. Only for Rick to very bluntly call his bluff and Don feeling left as if he has no choice but to go through with it and then bitterly regretting it, once Rick is gone).
All of this makes their interactions on Oban all the more fascinating. Because even with all the self-loathing potentially caused by his feelings, Don is quite keen to work with Rick once more, after not seeing him for three years. And no wonder, given that Rick was the only person whose presence even remotely filled that howling void that he can only acknowledge in the dark, dead of night, where no other soul could possible see him. He clearly regretted firing Rick and the way they parted (the "I'm counting on you" part is as close as one gets to a formal, five-page apology, with early series!Don) and wanted to try and make amends, even if he knew as well as anyone that he was terrible at it.
And Rick? I often joke that he's either pansexual or 'Wei-sexual', but the truth is that he's naturally drawn to both of the Weis and we see this clearly in the first half of Oban. I don't believe any amount of "the Earth needs you!" talk would have worked to convince him, if he was utterly unwilling to ever work with Don again, under any circumstances. Their relationship is fraught and tense at first, due to Rick's anger and hurt at how he was treated, but it slowly grows warmer and fonder, with Rick getting Don to open up to him on two separate occasions, in a way Don would never do with anyone else, with the sole exception of Eva, his own daughter. While Rick likely never saw Don as a father-figure per se, he did lean on the older man's experience and support and, in OSR proper, openly admits that he got to where he did in racing because Don was his mentor and taught him what he needed to know.
(I will reserve an in-depth discussion of this for the 'Ship Manifesto' post I'm writing for the two of them, but that line, in episode 10, after Don has just told Rick about the abandonment of his family? Not only does Rick not lash out at him -- a reaction Don was seemingly trying to cause, by phrasing things in such a way that he made it seem as if he'd abandoned both his wife and child -- but he expresses sorrow and disappointment, at the fact that Don kept something so important from him, for so many years. There are so many layers in his voice there and so much subtext that it's almost impossible to not read it in a 'Rick has Feelings' way. He sounds even more hurt in the French version, almost as if Savin's direction for the actor at that part were "good, not make it even gayer.")
Where do things go from there, post-Oban? For one, Don's lingering guilt over his father-like feelings for Rick turning into something else entirely on account everything from PTSD to being enormously affection-starved, wouldn't just go away. And if Rick is to be a semi-permanent fixture in the Wei household (I do not accept any other post-canon interpretations at this time) then he'll have to find some way of dealing with that guilt in a halfway constructive way, before it eats him alive. Particularly if they both carefully, tentatively, move toward a relationship. It's one of the reasons why Don turned to outright masochism to cope with his recurring issues with guilt and self-loathing in the post-canon fic I'm writing and why, in his relationship with Rick there, it translated into carefully negotiated kink).
(Here's a galaxy-brain take: father/son kinky roleplay, with the father in the submissive position. /shot).